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Val
loves receiving e-mails.
Tell him how you like his page!
Val@AllOurBoys.com
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since
05-25-07 |
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December 17 (1991) |
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November 2009
Val is almost 18 years old! Wow! I can't believe it. Although he hasn't been too find of high school, Val assures me he is willing to take some college classes. Val will be going to a Mexico cruise for his birthday and Christmas present. I am sure he will be excited as he has already been on one cruise and really enjoyed himself. I am hoping we can keep this trip a surprise until Val's birthday!
Although Val continues to struggle with the medical issues associated with bladder exstrophy, he always keeps a positive attitude. It seems that every month or so there is a medical glitch in his daily bladder care. Val has learned to be a good advocate for himself while in emergency room or in the doctor's office. This is a great skill that Val will use for the rest of his life. We are proud of Val's ability to take an active role on his medical care and treatment,
August 2009
During the previous months I tried to set-up
Val in his own apartment with a paid roommate in
hopes that Val would learn the adult living
skills that he would need to live independently.
Although we all put in a good effort, Val
continues to struggle with the same maturity
issues that he struggled with at home. What I
have seen time and time again is that Val's
behavioral challenges interfere with ability to
move forward in life. Although he is bright in
some areas, Val doesn't use his skills to help
himself. In any case the apartment idea was a
flop and Val did not return to his apartment
after his recent week at camp. Instead Val is
spending time with an old friend, Paul, who
lives in Northern California. Paul is a special
education teacher who specializes in working
with emotionally disturbed teenagers. Paul has a
nice cozy place in Monte Rio and Val loves it
there. Despite Paul's years of experience, Val
is giving Paul a run for his money! I certainly
appreciate Paul's kindness in giving me some
much needed respite and giving Val a safe place
to hang-out for a month. Val will return to high
school in September as a junior.
April 2009
Val continues to struggle medically as well as emotionally. The past few months have been the most significant medical struggle Val has had since joining our family. Val's kidneys are always on the verge of failing giving him a diagnosis of chronic kidney failure. Because of this Val has spent much of this school year in the hospital or at home recovering from infections or surgeries. Val has never been one to take his medication regularly and this bout of medical treatment is no exception. We have struggled to get Val to take his health seriously. While he says he understands the consequences of not following the doctor's orders he is yet to show responsibility, even with maximum support and encouragement, with his medical care. This is frightening as Val is close to being an adult and soon will be able to make his own decisions related to his health care.
Because of his many absences from school, both excused and not excused, Val has not earned enough credits to keep him on track with the rest of the students in tenth grade. I am constantly talking to Val about the importance of learning and attending school. Despite my pleas Val does not take school seriously. Once an excellent math student, even in his favorite subject Val puts little effort in now. I continue to encourage Val to increase his independence and remind him that he will be 18 years old soon and with the leap to adulthood comes much responsibility. Often my words seem to fall on deaf ears.
November 2008
Val is still battling chronic kidney failure. He now has tubes coming from his back that have been surgically placed to drain each of his kidneys into collection bags strapped to his legs. Val has been a real trouper through all of these medical procedures and medical set-backs. Due to his medical issues this first semester, Val missed lots of school. For a little over a month during the beginning of school Val had to be home schooled because he was not stable enough to attend school full-time. Then when he was finally able to return to school and carry a full load, it was very difficult for Val to catch-up with his classmates. He is still struggling to get back on tract at school. Obviously this is very frustrating for Val and I think there are times when he just gives up. Because of the missed classes, Val will likely have to go to summer school to make up his lost credits. Although Val is momentarily medically stable, he still has a long way to go to get back to the healthy and energetic Val we saw last year.
September 2008
Val is struggling with kidney infections. He will be having surgery in the near future to hopefully help reduce the opportunities for his kidneys to get infected. In the meantime Val has been having a lot of his school instruction at home. He does attend one class at school each day and then is supported by a home teacher for the rest of his academics. Of course Val is unhappy about not being able to spend time at school with his friends but he does understand the necessity of laying low for a while. We hope that after the surgery Val will be in good enough health to be able to return to school full-time.
July 2008
Val had another serious kidney infection in late June. He missed quite a bit of school before he ended up being hospitalized for about a week. Unfortunately when Val gets these infections they really wipe him out. It took several trips to the doctor to determine the actual diagnosis. The situation might not have been so bad if Val would have started antibiotics right away. Instead Val missed a week of school and stayed at home in bed with what doctors thought was a pulled muscle in his back. Thankfully Val is fully recovered and even was able to spend a week at Camp Bravo in early July. Val said he enjoyed camp and is looking forward to two more sessions in August. In the meantime we have to keep reminding Val to drink enough water and to stay away from the Monster drinks. Although Val will always have to deal with kidney problems, we are hoping that Val will stay healthy the rest of the summer and into the next school year!
May 2008
Val is counting the days to summer vacation.
Val continues to yo-yo with his grades in
school. Its a daily struggle to keep him
motivated. Val promises that next year will be
better because he will be taking classes that he
selected. We certainly hope so! Lately, Val has
been talking about getting a job and a drivers
license. We agree that a job might be a good
idea for Val. He is a smart teenager who is a
quick learner so there are many potential summer
jobs that he could apply for in our community.
Definitely 16 1/2 years old is a great time to
start making some spending money. hopefully with
some encouragement Val will move forward with
submitting some job applications.
February 2008
Val is having a tough time in school. Although he is bright he often does not put out 100% effort. Recently Val has been distracted by his classmates and his girlfriend. He has been missing classes and the school bus. His grades are lower than we would like to see. We are trying to get Val to understand that the effort, or lack of effort, he puts into his classes and school work now will effect his choice of colleges later. Val can be arrogant and likes to believe that he not only knows all of the answers to life's questions but that he knows best in every circumstance. This type of attitude can be very challenging to work with and Val often frustrates us. Val has so much potential but he is frequently his own worst enemy when it comes to his school and his academic success. We are continuing to plug away at Val and we have to remember that helping Val show a better attitude and increased motivation will take lots of on-going effort and energy on our part.
November 2007
Val has been studying for his written driving exam. He learned all the rules of the road fairly easily and was ready to test right away. When Val finally got to the DMV to take his test he was asked to take the eye exam. Sadly Val has refused to wear his glasses since he arrived from Russian. Despite us buying stylish frames, Val never wore his glasses more than a couple days before the glasses were "lost." So, of course when Val went to the DMV he couldn't complete the eye exam successfully. Now Val has to make another eye exam, then order a new pair of glasses before he can reschedule his written driving exam. As you can imagine, Val is very frustrated. Chock up another one for the value of natural consequences!
September 2007
Something happened between June and September! We are not sure what it was, but it was something very positive indeed. Val LOVES high school. We still can't believe it! He actually is enjoying going to school. He doesn't even mind the school bus arriving at 7:15 in the morning. He has been consistently on time sporting some stylish clothes and an earring. Of course this may be in part because he has become quite popular with the ladies on campus! We are thrilled that Val is excited about school and feel like this Ocean View High School was a perfect match for him. Besides the positive social aspects of a smaller high school, with fewer students there is less competition and thus Val has also made the freshman basketball team. We are looking forward to a positive year of school for Val both socially, and we are keeping our fingers crossed, academically!
August 2007
Val has enjoyed summer. He usually doesn't like going to summer camp, but reluctantly agreed to go to one session of Camp Bravo. Camp Bravo is a theater camp in Big Bear. After Val returned from his first week at Camp Bravo, he said he "loved" it so we promptly signed him up for two more one-week sessions. The directors reported that Val did a fabulous job at camp. They said he really opened up to the staff and the other campers. Each time I picked Val up to go home in between sessions he talked the whole two hours it took to drive home! Val enjoyed the activities and especially liked meeting new friends. Val, who is typically a loner at home and at school, was quite popular at camp. The culture of this particular camp program is very positive and non-competitive. The teachers, counselors and campers are constantly encouraging each other. Val responded well to this positive energy and participated in every activity fully. Val especially loved the ratio of four girls for every boy! Many of the girls were intrigued with Val's good looks and Russian accent! Val says he definitely wants to return to Camp Bravo next summer and in the meantime he will try to keep in touch with his friends though the Internet.
April 2007
Val is getting ready to graduate from middle school. We have decided to enroll Val at Ocean View High School. We selected this school because of it's small class size and its extensive English as a Second Language program. We know that Val would rather go to the neighborhood high school but we are afraid he would get lost academically on that campus. Val does much better he has constant reminders and prompts to complete his class work. Val plans on attending summer school at OVHS to get to know the campus and the teachers before the beginning of his freshman year.
February 2007
Val is making an big effort to bring up his grades. His math grade is now almost to a "B" while most of his other grades are at a "C" or slightly better. Val is also making some effort to get to school on time. Val is probably getting a little tired of serving a hour of detention after school for being 10-15 minutes later for school in the mornings. Val is very smart and has a lot of academic potential, we just hope that he continues to gain motivation. Val continues to plat basketball with the Pacific Hoops and has also expressed an interest in joining a Ping Pong club or team. We will be researching the possibility of Ping Pong lessons that might be available locally.
December
2006
Val is happy to be playing basketball again.
He practices with his team several times a week
and he also practices with a high school
freshman team. Val takes his practices seriously
and will often practice hours after the other
players have gone home. Val is getting
increasingly better and is probably the only
player on his team who can swish the ball from
the half-court. With all of this exercise and
fitness training, we find it funny that Val
doesn't want to walk or ride his bike the two
blocks to the local park with the teams meet.
Instead Val wants to be driven everywhere...hmmmmm!
Val still is struggling with school but when he
really puts his mind to it, he can pull almost
any grade up to an "A" with very little effort.
Val is learning the hard way, that in our
family, passing grades are the only way to earn
free time on the computer!
October 2006
Val is back in school and not particularly
happy about it. This school year is presenting
to be more of a challenge for Val. His schedule
is mostly regular education classes, including
an advanced placement math class. This is a big
jump from being primarily assigned to a Special
Day Class. While Val enjoys an occasional
academic challenge he is not one to have a great
desire to put in a lot of effort for homework or
other projects he finds "useless." Val is
finding out that 8th grade means lots of
homework! We are struggling to get Val motivated
to keep up his previously good grades. We are
trying to be proactive and looking at our local
high schools and trying to select the school
that has the best math and science program. We
believe if Val is placed in classes with highly
motivated students he will follow their lead. In
the mean time Val is looking forward to
basketball season starting in December. He is
also looking forward to his up-coming 15th
birthday, which he reminds us will bring him
that much closer to getting his learners permit
then, of course, his drivers license. Ughhh!!!!
July 2006
Val really enjoyed his two week stay at Pali
Adventures Summer Camp program before that he
attended a week at Camp Titan. Val had a chance
to ride four-wheelers, swim, show-off his
basketball skills, and participate in his
favorite activity---paintball. Val will attend
Big Bear Sports Camp in early August.
In between overnight
camps Val is relaxing at home. Val is looking
forward to starting 8th grade next year. He will
continue to be in advanced math classes and is
thinking about trying to enroll in our local
magnet school for math and science when he
graduates from middle school. We think allowing
Val to attend a specialized high school with
other like-minded students may help him develop
not only his academic skills but his social
skills as well.
Click here to
view Val's grades
May 2006
Val has started taking over the payroll!
Yes, our math wizard is now in charge of payroll
for both the family helpers and our supported
living staff! This is a big job including adding
and cross-checking the employee's regular hours
and overtime hours; figuring out the employee
health insurance costs; calculating taxes;
working with the payroll company and our
accountant; and writing payroll checks. Since
our payroll happens twice a month, this can seem
like a never ending story at times! Val has,
however, taken on this monumental task with
gusto! Not only is this a huge help for Jim and
I, but it is a wonderful way to channel some of
Val's energy and boost his self-esteem. We are
excited to see Val wanting to be a contributing
member of the family. We are so proud of Val and
his continuing efforts to be part of "Team
Silcock."
March 2006
Val (14) has matured a lot of the past few months.
Since Jim's hospitalization, Val has been very
helpful around the house, often even offering
his assistance where needed. Also after a slight
deep in his grades earlier this school year, Val
is making a big effort to get back to his 3.5
grade point average. Val has even taken it upon
himself to sign-up to be a counselor-in-training
at a local summer camp program. The difference
in Val is tremendous! It's awesome to see Val
make the effort to get along with family members
and separate himself before problems arise. Val
has also made it his responsibility to help Max
adjust to the family and to school. Jim and I
both appreciate Val's efforts to "step it up"
and positively contribute to the smooth running
of our family. Its very nice to know we can
depend on Val's photography, computer and math
skills when we need them. Its also nice to know
that Val will have a positive attitude when
requested to help around the house. We think Val
is finally seeing himself as a valued member of
our family instead of just a temporary visitor.
We look forward to Val's continued growth and
attachment.
January
2006
Val enjoyed a nice winter break from school. For
Christmas he received some nice roller blades
and a Harry Potter book in Russian. He spent
several days in Las Vegas with mom and dad along
with Alin and Nikolai. Val enjoys fine dining
and often chose to eat with us while Nikolai and
Alin chose to play at the arcade. Val also
enjoyed eating at the buffets. He was much more
adventurous about trying new foods than the
other two boys.
Val also enjoyed
attending shows and riding the various roller
coasters. It was good for us to spend some
one-to-one time with Val. Although he has
serious attachment issues, Val is the kind of
adolescent who needs lots of mom and dad time.
We hope over time that
Val will believe that we are his "forever
family" and that his anxiety about developing
long-term relationships will lessen. Val is
doing GREAT on his basketball team. He is a very
good player and a good all-around athlete. He is
learning to be a team player. After basketball
season is over Val will return to swim lessons
and maybe try out for Water Polo. Nest month Val
is signed up to take snowboard lessons. He is
very excited to get back out on the snow. This
summer he will return to surfing lessons.
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