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December 2011
Cody decided to change his name from "Andre" to "Cody" at his recent adoption. He said he wanted to change his name so he "could start all over." Joining our family was probably one of the most difficult things Cody probably ever had to do in his life. While I know he understands that it wasn't the best match for him in his previous family, he is still very traumatized by the idea of the disruption. Every other child who has joined my family through a dissolved adoption never looked back. Kids with RAD are really the norm in my family so when Cody, a child doesn't have really have RAD or only a slight case of it, struggles with separation issues it challenges me to help him get through it. As Cody settles into the idea of his permanency here, his issues at school have escalated. His teachers and our team at home are having a difficult time trying to figure out how to best support Cody at school. Although he has a good brain and can be very sharp at times, his behaviors are completely interfering with his learning. I don't know if the finalization of his adoption triggered this spike in behaviors or it is simply symptoms of his Tourette Syndrome but the outcome is the sadly same. In the meantime he attends private tutoring sessions twice weekly and we continue to encourage him to work through his issues. I am hopeful that increased maturation will help Cody find his way in life.
December 2010
Cody is doing great! He is doing a great job in middle school. He complains very little about school these day and maintains good grades. Although Cody struggles with completing homework, he generally does well on tests which tells us he is learning the material. Cody is becoming a good advocate for himself. He is learning how to ask for help in the classroom when he needs. Cody is also learning that when he puts his mind to it, he can often figure out how to work independently. Cody's teachers seem to really like him and are able to work around his tic disorder. As Cody's anxiety about school decreases, his impulse-control seems to increase. Its interesting to see Cody strive in middle when most kids tend to struggle. Since Cody's behavioral issues are so few and far between, we are able to being to titrate him off of most of his medications. It's exciting to see Cody mature. He is now very easy-going, can handle transitions, disappointment and correction very well. Cody very rarely causes any trouble at home or in the community. He is a pleasure to be around and continues to one of my biggest helpers with the younger boys. Cody is a very different boy then he was two years ago and I am very happy to be his mom!
March 2010
Cody has mellowed over the past few months. While he frequently talks about wanting to visit his first adoptive family, he is less depressed about his transition to our family. Cody still struggles with behaviors that challenge us but his tantrums have markedly decreased in frequency and intensity. Cody has been easier to redirect out of his outbursts lately.
School is still a challenge especially since the instructional staff don't have a clear idea how the combination of Cody's diagnoses' effect his school behaviors and academic performance. Despite having a behavior support plan in place Cody continues to get in to power struggles with his teacher. She doesn't understand Tourette Syndrome and the compulsive behaviors that come with the package. My greatest hope is that Cody will find more success in middle school. The good news is, however, that Cody is developing a small circle of friends at school and is beginning to have play dates with them outside of school hours.
Although change is painfully slow at times, I am very proud of Cody for increasing his appropriate behaviors and
developing some nice age=appropriate social skills.
November 2009
Cody continues to struggle with his separation from his first adoptive family. Its hard to explain to any child why he "didn't make it" with a previous family. Of all of the boys I have adopted through disruption, Cody by far has taken this situation the hardest. While he is loving and helpful with me and playful and engaging with his brothers it seems at every corner there is something that reminds Cody of his "old family." At times Cody will state that I "have ruined his life" by "taking him away from his first family." At other times he can be fairly logical in explaining why his personality and challenges weren't a match for his first family. I think this period of time will be even more difficult as we begin the holiday season and the one year anniversary of his placement with our family. I am spending a lot of one-to-one time with Cody in hopes that we can work through his grief together.
July 2009
Cody is very happy summer school is over. He had many meltdowns over the fact that he had to attend summer school. He did get to miss a week of summer school while he went to Camp Paivika. While he didn't want to go to sleep-over camp either, once he returned home all he could talk about was how much the camp counselors "loved him!" I did get some nice reports from camp about Cody's behavior which is always a wonderful surprise! During the August Cody will be going to two more weeks of summer camp, the first and the third week of the month. Already Cody is stating that he doesn't want to go! I am definitely starting to see Cody's pattern of getting anxious before some new activity. He resists everything unfamiliar and I must push him to try every time. Hopefully by next summer Cody will be looking forward to summer camp, I don't think I can expect him to ever look forward to summer school! Follow Cody's daily antics on Twitter.com: CodyTheHelper. Be sure to let us know you are following Cody on Twitteras we block all of the junk and random followers.
March 2009
Cody has been a wonderful addition to our family. He is a fun-loving boys who is full of energy. This month Cody received his Yellow Belt in Tae Kwon Do! He also performed twice with his children's choir. Once at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills! He was quite a hit in his dress shirt and tie. Cody is a good singer and is always willing to try hard during choir practice. Cody is also performing with MYART Children's Theater group.
 Next month Cody and the rest of the actors will perform the play "The Wizard of Oz." Cody is excited going to rehearsals now that he gets wear his costumes! Cody loves to dress-up and is almost always quite dramatic.
December 2008
Cody finally joined our family shortly after Christmas. He was definitely sad to leave Michigan and his original adoptive family. I hope that Cody will settle in quickly. Cody is a great kid. Despite his developmental disabilities and behavior challenges, Cody is loving and caring. Cody is a very sensitive which is making this transition rather difficult. It is clear that Cody doesn't have the significant attachment issues that some of my other kids exhibit. Cody also enjoys being active and I am exploring Tae Kwon Do classes and Special Olympics which we should be able to start after the New Year. I look forward to parenting Cody and supporting him to meet his potential.
November 2008
We are looking forward to Cody (10) joining our
family in early December 2008. Cody was
originally adopted from Romania as a very young
child. He has lived with his first adoptive
family in Michigan for the past seven years.
Unfortunately, due to Cody's multiple
developmental, behavioral and medical issues, he
was no longer able to live with his first
adoptive family any more. Because we have lots
of household help and the ability to provide
eyes-on supervision at home and in the community
it was felt that Cody would be a good match for
our family. We look forward to having Cody join
us just in time for Christmas, Both Alin and
George are also excited about having another
Romanian brother.
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