Viktor

 

July 2008
Viktor continues to struggle emotionally. Viktor was helping us run errands from time to time. Last month Viktor was extremely unhappy when we told him he could not wear shirts with inappropriate pictures and/or words when he came to our house. For three weeks Viktor didn't talk to us. It is a very sad situation for us but we knew we needed to stick by our rules. Viktor eventually e-mailed us and asked for help with his rent! In the meantime we have told Viktor that he needs to find a "real" job. Unfortunately, this might be an impossible task. Most of the time, Viktor has little motivation and can be very surly toward employers. This does not make him a very appealing candidate in the job market. Having spent his early childhood living on the streets, stealing to survive, and with very poor adult role models really set the stage for Viktor's poor attitude toward authority. Although Viktor spent his teenage years with us, it seemed impossible to change his moodiness and at times his hopelessness. Viktor was always in survival mode and never seemed able to dream of a positive and productive future for himself. Hopefully, Viktor is just going through some growing pains and will make some positive changes in his life as time goes on.

May 2008
Viktor continues to struggle as he transitions from being a dependent teenager to becoming an independent adult. Viktor is learning the hard way the necessity of money management and appropriate adult behavior. We are pleased that he did get his car paid off! In the meantime his poor car was in two traffic accidents, both of which were not Viktor's fault. One time Viktor was rear-ended by a school bus at a red light and the second time one of our neighbors backed into his parked car. Ughhh! Both times Viktor was without a car for over a week while the body shop fixed the damage. Obviously it was extremely hard for Viktor to deal with his brand new car having significant body damage. Currently his car is back in working order with a perfect body so Viktor is smiling again!
 

February 2008
Viktor is enjoying living in his own apartment. Unfortunately he may need to move to a new apartment sooner than we anticipated. After a few episodes with the apartment security the management has discussed the option of use relocating Viktor. Viktor continues to work out but has not put too much effort into finding a job. We are working with Viktor to determine what type of job he might like to do. So far Viktor has said he would be interested in being an electrician. We have tried to explain the difficulties in learning the skills needed for this type of job. Viktor's support staff will take Viktor on some job sites where electricians work to discuss what options might be available to Viktor in this vocational area.

November 2007
Viktor is in between jobs right now. Viktor and his friend worked at the same place. When his friend lost his job Viktor decided he didn't want to work either. It was difficult for Viktor to understand that a person is judged at work on their job performance. While Viktor had just received a raise, he friend lost his job for poor performance. Viktor had a difficult time understanding that it was okay for him to continue working despite his friend losing his job. Viktor chose to be loyal to his friend and quit his job. Now Viktor is learning how hard it is to not have a steady cash flow. Viktor is also learning how difficult it is for him to find a job that he can do and that he enjoys. This is definitely a tough lesson to learn, but an experience we hope Viktor grow from emotionally.

September 2007
With Jim going back to the hospital later this month, we will depending a lot on Viktor to bring the boys to visit Jim. Viktor will also be able to run errands for Jim while he is in the hospital. Viktor's ability to help transport the boys to and from their various activities and appointments has really helped the family tremendously. We are very thankful that Viktor is making himself available to us during Jim's hospitalization.

August 2007
Viktor has been a BIG help around the house this summer. Viktor has worked with Jim six-days-a-week. Since Jim needs to spend quite a bit of time on bed to try to heal his reoccurring pressure sore, Viktor has been Jim's right-hand man. Viktor spent many of his days helping pack and then unpack his younger brothers for summer camp. Jim also taught Viktor how to operate the machines at the laundry mat, which makes it a lot faster to wash and dry the many duffle bags of filthy clothes and sleeping bags coming back from sleep-over camp. Viktor has also been helpful keeping our cars clean and shopping all the sales for school supply items. We have definitely seen a big increase in Viktor's maturation level over the past quarter of the year!

April 2007
Viktor recently got accepted into wrestling school. He has been trying to enroll in this particular school for several years. Viktor works out and practices his moves with a coach three times a week at a gym in San Clemente. Viktor is really enjoying the wrestling program and is very motivated to push himself physically. Viktor says that he hopes to be able to participate in wrestling shows sometime soon.

February 2007
Viktor has been working a lot of hours lately. He is starting to see what kind of financial commitment it takes to be a car owner and a cell phone owner. With an increasing social network as well as the raising cost of gas and the cost of full-coverage auto insurance for a 19-year-old male, Viktor has to almost work full-time just to pay his bills. Viktor has been learning how to budget his funds and has begun realizing that he does not have the discretionary funds he once had. No more midnight runs to 7-11 for a snack! So far Viktor has made all of his payments and is keeping almost perfect attendance with his work schedule. Viktor is learning it is a lot of work to be an adult!

December 2006
Viktor is excited about his new Scion XB!! Yes, he finally made the big purchase. After years of saving his money he was able to make a substantial down payment on the car of his dreams! Viktor continues to help out around the house. He and Jim run errands and keep the computers and the vehicles running. Viktor has recently been talking about visiting Estonia in the future. He would like to reconnect with his biological siblings and his maternal grandmother. We working on getting Viktor a passport so that he would be able to travel out of the country.

October 2006
Viktor continues to work out at Gold's Gym almost daily. He is also eating much healthier lately as well. Viktor is serious about enrolling in wrestling school and knows he needs to be in top shape to be accepted. We are proud of Viktor's commitment to continue pursuing his dream. In the meantime Viktor continues to shop for a reasonably priced truck. He hopes to have a vehicle by the end of the year.

 

July 2006
Viktor is shopping around for a new car. He has saved enough money to put a good down payment on a new Scion. Viktor says he is ready to retire the Volvo. of course retirement means the Volvo will return to us and join our fleet of cars. Jim is helping Viktor search for the best deal on the car and the financing. We are proud of Viktor who used a lot of self-restraint to be able to save his money for almost a year. Viktor continues to work with his brothers and to work out at the gym. He is interested in attending a school in Los Angeles for professional wrestlers. We are looking into that program as well.

Update: May 2006
Viktor has decided to leave high school early. His struggle with upper level academics became too much and was causing him a lot of anxiety. While we are a bit disappointed that Viktor did not finish high school, we can already see a positive change in his attitude since he made the decision. Viktor is now working full-time with his younger brothers. He enjoys his work and has been very responsible. The younger brothers really enjoy going places with Viktor and they often request his help with homework and other tasks. Its great to see Viktor smiling again. He seems to enjoy the role of "big brother" and he takes his job very seriously. Viktor is also talking about taking some adult education classes where he can choose to study in the areas of his interests.

 

March 2006
Viktor (18) continues to have his "own style." With his dyed black hair, "EMO" look, and piercings, Viktor hardly looks like the blond 13-year old boy who arrived from Estonia five years ago. It has been challenging to try to guide our son toward what we believe are good choices, especially now that he is an adult. At home, Viktor continues to be extremely helpful with his younger brothers. He drives them to their various activities safely and always arriving on time. Viktor is generally respectful to Jim and I, as well as the family helpers. On his own, Viktor has made it his mission to visit Jim at the VA hospital at least five days a week. Viktor has also been the supplier of Jim's diet soda, bringing at least a half dozen with him on very visit.

Additionally, Viktor often brings some of the younger kids along on the hospital visits so that everyone gets the opportunity to see Jim at least once a week. Jim and I both appreciate Viktor's efforts to be supportive and helpful to the family. Finally, after struggling for the past five years, it seems that Viktor is demonstrating an attachment and a commitment to our family. On the other hand, school continues to be a huge struggle for Viktor. It is hard for Viktor to see the benefits of learning about US government and geometry. We continue to support Viktor and encourage him to make good choices about finishing high school. Eventually, the choice will be Viktor's. We can only hope that the natural consequences of the decisions Viktor makes will provide him a positive learning opportunity.

Update: January 2006
Viktor has been trying to get a job lately. He worked a while for East Coast Hotdog but his hours got cut when the store changed management. He is very interested and motivated to save some money so he can buy a car. Viktor definitely is learning the power of having money which has really helped him improve his work habits!

Viktor continues to be a wonderful big brother and is very helpful around the house. The younger boys really look up to Viktor and often request the Viktor take them to their various activities. Viktor has really developed his patience and rarely gets frustrated even when the little guys get hyper and cause a bit of trouble.

Viktor still attends Huntington Beach High School. He is during better with his academics but still struggles if he thinks a class is "too boring." Viktor is interested in taking a computer class through the ROP program and will likely be able to start the class next semester.

We are proud of Viktor's accomplishments and it has been especially enjoyable to watch him develop into a nice young man.

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