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The Silcock Family ..it's all about Inclusion |
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AllOurBoys.com |
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Barry
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In Loving Memory of BARRY
DALE SILCOCK
Punk rocker's life capped by adoption and
diploma
When Barry Silcock first cut his hair in a Mohawk, then dyed it
various hues, he hoped for two things.
One, that people would see him as the punk rocker that he was.
And two, that they would stare at him because of his hair, not
because of his power wheelchair and his tracheotomy.
And you know what? It worked.
No matter what trappings he carried on, in or around him to
accommodate his disabilities, no one could take their eyes off that
stiff purple (or green or blue) strip of hair down the middle of his
skull or off the gentle, intelligent face beneath it.
Barry was only 19 when he died Sept. 19 of multiple health
problems, but he managed to pack a lot into that abbreviated life.
He went to rock concerts, met David Bowie and Kiss, appeared in
movies and TV shows and had bit parts in community-theater
productions.
He even got suspended from Edison High School – something he
brought upon himself quite deliberately, believing it to be a
teenager's rite of passage.
Like Pinocchio, who yearned to be a real boy, Barry wanted only
to be a normal boy. And he was.
Barry was born with spina bifida, a defect in which the embryo's
neural tube fails to form properly, resulting in varying degrees of
permanent damage to the spinal column and the nervous system. His
mother, overwhelmed by the prospect of his care, placed him at
Fairview State Hospital in Costa Mesa for developmentally disabled
children.
He was 7 when he joined the Huntington Beach household of Jim
Silcock and Ann Belles, who folded him lovingly into their large
adoptive family of more than 20 disabled boys.
Barry's social skills were poor and he couldn't walk during his
first year with the Silcocks, but with patient coaxing from his new
parents, brothers and aides, he learned to walk first with a walker,
then with crutches, to share toys and enjoy school.
He even earned a blue belt in karate.
Still, his medical problems were daunting. He developed an
untreatable ulcer in his stomach and had to have surgery to divert
food from his stomach.
He started using a power wheelchair four years ago following
complications from back surgery.
In February, he had surgery to correct his incontinence and get
him, at last, out of diapers, but there were multiple complications.
He went home from the hospital for a couple of weeks in April, then
spent the rest of his life at Kaiser Lakeview Medical Center in
Anaheim.
Barry was an adorable kid, personable and funny, happy, outgoing
and a flirt. He had his first girlfriend in fourth grade.
In high school he became a punk rocker, playing his music loud,
wearing punk jewelry. He had the neck band that held his tracheotomy
tube in place dyed black and glued studs on it.
He loved going to rock concerts and always managed to weasel his
way backstage to meet the artists. Once, he wrote a letter to the
band Phish and was invited to tour with them, which he did.
When he wrote a song about himself, he talked of being a punk
rocker, having been in a mosh pit and wanting a tattoo. He never
mentioned being a wheelchair user. It simply wasn't how he saw
himself.
Although bright in many ways, Barry had some learning
difficulties, and it took him five years to complete high school.
But in June, he became the first among his adoptive brothers to
receive an actual high school diploma – not just a certificate of
completion. He was in the hospital at the time, so school officials
brought the ceremony to him.
The real highlight of his life, though, was being adopted by the
Silcocks. He'd wanted this for so long, but couldn't do it until he
turned 18 and was legally old enough to make the decision.
It was a simple ceremony, but it was one of the most meaningful
moments of Barry's life. |
